Decisions, decisions, decisions…

Marino Marini Cavaliere Art Basel

This week, I drove to Art Basel with my mum. It was a spontaneous decision we took last week, and since it was such a last-minute trip, we drove there from Fitou, France. It took us about 9 hours there and even more hours back, so we had a lot of time to talk about life and other things.

One topical issue we discussed is related to Brexit. It should be a question, or several, to answer from time to time regardless, but the Brexit thing sure speeds things up with all its uncertainties.

Speak Louder by Nick Cave Art Basel
Speak Louder by Nick Cave

Where do I want to live?

My husband and I have been living in the UK for a little over three and a half years. We moved here from Doha, Qatar. Before that, we lived in Göteborg, Sweden, and I’ve had my fair share of living in various other places before that since I was 16 years old. Where we are now in London is the first time I “settled” and put down some roots, i.e. sorting through everything we have, putting paintings up and buying a sofa I love!
It’s the first time I feel like I don’t have to be ready, steady, go with everything I own and be in another country and another job tomorrow. Now this whole Brexit thing is happening and we don’t really have a plan.

On the one hand, I don’t think that the government would be stupid enough to throw us, European migrants, out; on the other, listening to Theresa May’s rhetoric, I am a little worried about my place here. Sure, the EU wants to make sure that people like me and my husband can stay, but it’s all pretty much up in the air and could be for the next two years, especially since for May we are not a priority discussion point but rather leverage.

With all of this going on, this begs the question of where I’d want to live. Sure, we could go to Fitou, France, for a while or move to Stockholm, Sweden. But honestly, I don’t know, if I’d want to live in either places more long-term. They’d be on the top of my head “safe” options because they are familiar.

How do I want to live?

In addition to the where, I also need to decide how I want to live. I am in a fortunate position where I have pretty much all the possibilities open to me. I simply need to decide what it is I want. This is pretty daunting, because I could literally choose whatever.

I think one of the things that scare me is “What if I made the wrong choice?”. My mum’s answer to this “Then you change your decision!” Sounds really simple and I know she is right, but going through with it and implementing it is far from straightforward.

Another element is children! Yes, I am a woman of childbearing age and it is something I need to consider. Besides the yes or no of whether I’d want any, I think a bigger thing nowadays is also how I’d want to live with them.

They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds. Art Basel
by Sam Durant

What do I want to do?

Ever since I quit my job last year and my surgery happened, I’ve been on a journey to figure out what it is I really want to do to earn money. I’ve been exploring my creativity more and more and started a little shop and I enjoy it. However, I am also a rational person who knows that this is a fun side thing.
When it comes to a regular job, I am not sure if I want to go back to what I’ve done before. Sure, I was good at it and project management is natural for me, but I don’t really know if I want to continue on that route or shift it entirely.

Due by Massimo Bartolini’s Art Basel 2017
Due by Massimo Bartolini

What now?

My mum is a wise woman (ha!, I am not sure she’d like me saying that ’cause it makes her sound old) and said, from experience, it would be good to have an idea for how I’d want the next five years to look like and where I’d want to make it all happen. Having said that, life can change in a second, so you’ll adjust and change your plans/goals/[fill in the blank], but a decision has to be taken no matter what, otherwise you won’t get anywhere and others will make decisions for you and your life.

I think a good place to start thinking about all of this is a beach. Can’t beat the sound of waves and a nap to digest it all!

I shall let you know how this all pans out.

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6 Comments

  1. Christine
    18 June 2017

    My Sweetheart,
    may be it’s good to change the approach of how to get to a decision, the following might be of help:
    Usually, you have two options to decide for, the one or the other. I add two other one’s: none of these, both of these.
    Just write down the case you have to decide about, prepare four notes with these four options, put it as a square on the floor, stand on one to start with and answer these questions for each position:
    The One: What is the use? What does it mean for me? What is the price? How are my chances? What would others say (husband, friends, parents,…)? How do you feel about it?
    The Other: Would could you gain? What could you loose? What would be different? Is this you? How do you feel about it?
    Bot of these: Would that be possible? What are possible conflicts? Do you have enough energy for both? What of the both do you prefer?
    None of these: What have you got rid of? What do you think about? To what do you say good bye to? What do you welcome? What are you grateful for? What is it all really about?

    Reply
    1. Isabell Schulz
      18 June 2017

      Yes, this sounds like a good idea. I shall try this.

      Reply
  2. […] Decisions, decisions, decisions… […]

    Reply
  3. […] blog posts has been a bit off these past 2 weeks. I have a good excuse though, last week I went to Art Basel and this week I was busy working on our house in the south of France. I also had to take a […]

    Reply
  4. Tobias
    28 July 2017

    The sound of the waves aswell as a nap seems like the best conditions for decisionmaking 😀

    Reply
    1. Isabell Schulz
      28 July 2017

      Indeed it is 🙂

      Reply

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